SpongeBob SquarePants Patrick Star oh crap.

dutchster:

fat-amy-for-president:

albamentum:

drunktrophywife:

being a girl is really fucking expensive

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR DATES

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR OUR TAMPONS, PADS, ULTRA SOUNDS, PAP SMEARS, OB/GYN VISITS, BRAS, CLOTHES, MAKE UP, HAIR PRODUCTS TO GO ON DATES WITH FUCKERS LIKE YOU?

[cricket sounds]

(via anjellycax)

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post

(via ectobabes)

spokenunspoken:

shaky:

I’m stuck between wanting:

1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love

2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet

3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career

It scares me how accurate this is.

(via wizards-have-more-fun)

vogue-hearts:

don’t waste sunsets with people who will be gone by sunrise.

(via candypopper)

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."

Marcel Pagnol (via larmoyante)

(via yanniearriola)